No Wishing Allowed

Posted by Jim Thornber on July 31, 2017
Posted in: Christian Spirituality. Tagged: , , , . Leave a comment

Not too long after Barbara and I were married, we cooked our first Thanksgiving turkey. It wasn't too bad for a first time effort, and, although I really don't remember it, I'm sure the whole meal was a joy. I do remember, however, that after I carved the turkey I did the traditional thing and set the wishbone aside to dry on the windowsill in the kitchen.

After a few weeks we decided the wishbone was ready to be tested. Barbara took one end and I took another. After making our “wishes,” we pulled at the wishbone, only to have it split evenly right up the middle. No winners. No losers. Just us, still the same. We looked at each other, then at the pieces of bone in our hands, then back at each other and nervously laughed.

I don't often get weirdly spiritual, as in looking for God trying to get my attention behind every strange happening or offbeat coincidence. Still, Barbara and I knew immediately what the Lord was saying, and we haven't shared a wishbone since. Not once. So, if you think we are weird spiritual fanatics, at least we are weird together and we don't have only one of us taking all the blame.

From this simple incident we learned two valuable lessons. First, the success of our marriage has nothing to do with luck and even less to do with wishing. There is nothing superstitious, coincidental, fortuitous or haphazard about a successful marriage. A strong, committed relationship is a choice we make, everyday, for the rest of our lives. Furthermore, I didn't get “lucky” finding Barbara. My first priority was to follow God’s direction in my life, not find a wife. With that priority set, God brought the right woman into my life. Luck is not a factor when
God is placed first.

Second, Barbara and I are not in competition. I do not “win” when she “loses.” I am not the better person if my wishes come true over those of my wife. There is plenty of good in life to go around without thinking my fortune must come at someone else's misfortune. Unless we are in a heated game of Scrabble, I am not in competition with Barbara. And even in Scrabble, we cheer the other if they make a high score. I didn't get married to compete with and overcome my best friend. Her success is my success.

Because I believe this, it bothers me to watch couples take delight in putting the other one down in public. If a guy does that to his wife, I'm thinking, “If she is so stupid and ignorant, why did you take public vows telling the world you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her? Who’s the real idiot in this scene?”

Ephesians reminds men to “love your wives, just as Christ loves the church” (Eph. 5:25). Not once has anyone ever heard Jesus point to one of His Bride and say, “Why are you so dumb? Hey Mike and Gabe, come look at what stupid thing this one did just now.” Jesus treats His Church better than that, and so should we. Even if they are not our spouse. But especially if they are.

So, this Thanksgiving when someone wants to make a wish over a piece of bone, kindly look at them and say, “Tell you what. How ‘bout we both pray good things for one another, because your success is my success.”

Give Your Staff Permission To Be Themselves

Posted by Jim Thornber on June 24, 2017
Posted in: Christian Spirituality, Church, Leadership. Tagged: , , , , , . Leave a comment

Earlier this week I was reading Eugene Peterson’s book Under the Unpredictable Plant.  In it, he shares that someone once asked him his favorite part of being a pastor, and he answered, “The mess.” Yes, being a pastor is messy, which contributes to the creative side of allowing God to be God in situations that don’t always fall under the category, “Stuff I Learned in Seminary.”

As I thought about this same question, my quick answer was, “I get to love people on my own terms.”

I’ve worked with more than one pastor who felt the need to micro-mismanage his staff so they’d behave in ways that made him comfortable. Regardless of their gifts, talents, backgrounds and personalities, these pastors made sure their staff understood what was and was not acceptable in the ways they spoke to and related with people. I had a sense they were trying to make me into a mini version of themselves, and something in me always rebelled. They wanted to control my sense of humor, what passages of Scripture I could teach on, how I could speak to people and what stories about my life I could tell. In spite of my unique gifts, talents and skills, they seemed determined to make me in their image. Needless to say, I didn’t last under their leadership.

This manipulation went beyond the basic and necessary training a good leader engages in when communicating the vision, mission and culture of this particular local church. They seemed to think if the church members saw a staff person as more loving and forgiving, more personable and likeable, more capable of handling God’s Word and feeding the spiritual appetites of the congregants, there’d be competition on the team. Instead of working together as companions in the Kingdom, these pastors often viewed others with a wary eye, watching for any sign their staff might be better pastors than they were. I walked many a year in different churches not with the hopeful challenge of, “What would Jesus do?” but with the fearful question, “Would the pastor approve of this?” Continue Reading

If You’re Still Breathing, God Isn’t Finished With You!

Posted by Jim Thornber on May 26, 2017
Posted in: Christian Spirituality, Religion. Tagged: , , , , . 2 Comments

Have you ever wondered if you disappointed God so badly that He didn’t have any more use for you? Many people have. Today I’ve got some good news for you, and I hope it will enable you to see that nobody is beyond God’s love.

In the beginning of the book of Luke, we see Zechariah in the temple when the angel Gabriel appears and tells him his prayers have been answered – he’s going to have a son named John (Luke 1:13). But Zechariah doesn’t really believe it and says, “How can I be sure this will happen?” (vs. 18).  In other words, Zechariah wants a sign. Gabriel responds, “Okay. You want a sign. How’s this for a sign. You’ll be silent and unable to speak until John is born.” (And somewhere under his breath I believe Gabriel might have muttered, “Silly human.”  But I could be wrong on that point).

Finally the day arrives! John has been born and now it’s time to circumcise him and give him a name. After a short dispute with some relatives who wanted to name him after his father, they all turn to Zechariah for his opinion, and he writes out “John is his name. And now we come to the part I like. “Instantly,” or “Immediately,” Zechariah could speak again.

Life Application Point #1: God’s discipline doesn’t last a moment longer than necessary.

Just as Gabriel said, Zechariah remained silent until John was born and named. His obedience opened his ears and loosened his tongue, and the first words that come out of his mouth are words of praise.

A reverential awe filled the people who witnessed these events, and it didn’t take long for the gossip train to make its way throughout the Judean hills. Yes, the people were talking, but this time they were talking about God in a truthful manner and their spirits were tuned in to wonder just what plans the Lord had for this child named John. Sometime later, Zechariah composed a prophetic poem, the result of being filled with the Holy Spirit as we see in verse 67.

Life Application Point #2: Previous discipline doesn’t end spiritual ministry.

When a believer today has submitted to God’s discipline, they may continue in service to their Lord. Too often we judge a person’s effectiveness for the Kingdom because of a previous indiscretion. God will use whatever player He chooses in whatever position He chooses to put them in for His purposes. He doesn’t need us to sit by with a scorecard and keep track of hits and errors. Besides, the only reason some of us aren’t being judged more harshly by our neighbors is simply because we haven’t been found out. So let’s not be too quick to judge those who have. We never know how God is going to use someone who has doubted and betrayed Him. Just as Zechariah and Peter.

Perhaps you’ve disappointed God somehow. You’ve doubted Him or betrayed Him and God has set you down for some time out and discipline. But He’s not done. Zechariah still had a purpose, and that purpose was to keep God’s work in front of him and raise up godly offspring. You have a purpose to, and that purpose is God’s purpose: to bring His Son into the world so they may know His grace and His love.

Take heart, my friends. God isn’t finished with you yet.

 

Drinking Jesus

Posted by Jim Thornber on May 19, 2017
Posted in: Christian Spirituality, Religion, Scripture. Tagged: , , , , , . Leave a comment

“If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” – John 4:10

 

A few years back, there was a popular tee shirt that compared Jesus to a soft drink. It said, “Jesus: He’s the real thing.” It was cute, as far as it goes. Not life changing, but cute.

Then I actually heard a minister compare the life-giving water of Jesus to a can of Coke. He said Jesus was a pure relationship with God, while a Coke was a relationship with man-made additives. One was pure and one was religious. Well, he had my attention.

Water, as opposed to your favorite soft drink, is necessary for life. We must have water in order to live. We drink it and wash with it. Water is a lubricant, dispels heat and sustains life, supports digestion, makes things soft and aids in eliminating waste. All life on this planet needs water to live. Water is indispensable, and the need for water has been the force behind more than one war.

A soft drink, however, with all its fancy ingredients, is necessary for nothing. We cannot bathe in it, use it to brush our teeth or add it to our radiator to displace heat. You can’t water the lawn with it or use it wipe down a dirty table. A soft drink is mostly water with various additives, none of which is necessary for an efficient and effective life.

Here’s the part that bothers me. Instead of focusing my life on the pure, life-giving living water of Jesus, I’ve often focused too much of my time on the additives. And when we add stuff to Jesus, we limit His effectiveness. Continue Reading

Committed to Success

Posted by Jim Thornber on May 18, 2017
Posted in: Christian Spirituality, Religion. Tagged: , , , , . Leave a comment

“Roll your works upon the Lord [commit and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and] so shall your plans be established and succeed” (Proverbs 16:3—Amplified).

 

I don’t know about you, but not everything I’ve done has been a success. Even those things I’ve given over to God have not always met with the kind of success I’ve hoped for. Only after digging into Proverbs 16:3 did I begin to understand what God was up to.

I first memorized this Scripture from the NIV, which tells me to “commit” my plans to the Lord. But when I found the same word is translated “roll” in the Amplified, I began a study of the word. In the Hebrew, the word commit does mean roll, but it also means to move a stone by getting it out of the way, to roll in blood or to be dyed red. Now I was really on a roll (pun intended).

This tells me that every plan I have must be in conjunction with the will of God, according to the price paid by the blood of Jesus, if my plans are going to succeed. This is why every selfish, vain, prideful plan I’ve had has failed. Even if I rolled my plans into the clothes of religious terminology (I declare, in Jesus name, to take control over the devil’s schemes so the gates of hell will not prevail against it, for the glory of God, Amen!), the plan will fail if it is not a plan that glorifies God.

Furthermore, I’m still discovering I cannot commit something to God if I am not willing to let it go. It is impossible to roll a bowling ball down the lane if you refuse to let it go. Too often, I have been guilty of “committing” my plans to God, only to keep one hand on the plan and try to steer the direction it will take. But that is not how it works. 1 Peter 5:7 says we should “cast” all our cares upon Jesus. This word cast was also used for the way people cast their garments upon the donkey Jesus used to ride into Jerusalem. Once they cast them for Jesus’ use, they had to trust Jesus would take them to the place that served Him best.

How often have I truly cast my cares upon Jesus, rolling them up and handing them over to Him so He may make them successful? I think sometimes He takes our plans and puts them on a shelf, knowing that those plans would do us more harm than good, and the only successful way of dealing with our ideas is by saying “No.”

I also think this has something to do with the way we forgive. (Didn’t see that transition coming, did you?). Too often I have said I’ve forgiven someone who has offended me, only to treat them as if they owed me something, or held the offense over their head, or allowed bitterness or skepticism to enter the relationship. But if I truly commit, roll and move the stone of unforgiveness out of the way, then I’ll carry on the relationship in a manner that exhorts the other person and honors God. And wouldn’t that be a marvelous way to live?

 

 

 

 

The Weed Eater Made Me Do It!

Posted by Jim Thornber on April 8, 2017
Posted in: Christian Spirituality, Religion, Scripture. Tagged: , , , , , . Leave a comment

For four years I was an Assemblies of God minister and a monk with the Brothers and Sisters of Charity at the Little Portion Hermitage. This is an excerpt from my book Taking Off My Comfortable Clothes: Removing Religion to Find Relationship.

One fine summer day at the monastery, I went to the garage and got the weed eater. But try as I might, I could not get the weed eater to start. Does it have gas? Check. Is the spark plug okay? Check. Well, that’s as far as my small engine talents can take me. So, let’s pull on the rope some more. Once more. One more time. Pull again. Pull. Pull pull pull pull pull pull pull pull. About the time I started to feel the blister come up on my finger from jerking on the rope, I’d had enough. I laid hands upon it (in the name of Jesus, of course) and removed the offending member from my presence.

I didn’t really believe that a long flight out the garage door would help the obstinate weed eater start. But for that brief, wonderful moment, the sight of the obnoxious, obviously UNSAVED weed eater flying helplessly and unrepentantly across the driveway and into the shrubs by the common center made me feel better. Walking out into the bright sun to retrieve the varmint, I bought it back into the garage and tried it once again. I was right. It still didn’t start.

Fast-forward to the next available Friday. Friday morning is the time when, during morning prayers, we all had the opportunity to confess any sins that needed to be, well, confessed. Continue Reading

Presenting My Best

Posted by Jim Thornber on March 5, 2017
Posted in: Christian Spirituality, Religion, Scripture, Service. Tagged: , , , , , , . Leave a comment

“So Abraham ran back to the tent and said to Sarah, ‘Hurry . . . and bake some bread.’ Then Abraham ran out to the herd and chose a tender calf and gave it to his servant, who quickly prepared it. When the food was ready . . . he served it to the men. ” – Genesis 18:6-8

 

100_percentAfter reading this passage about Abraham’s hospitality to the Lord and the two angels, it occurred to me that sometimes I am either too lazy or too impatient to give to the Lord in the manner of this marvelous man.

As it happens, one day Abe is sitting in front of his tent during the hottest part of the afternoon, sipping sweet tea and listening to the tree frogs, when he looks up and notices three men standing nearby. He must have figured they weren’t normal beings since one moment no one is there and the next moment they’re standing nearby. Since he didn’t see them approaching from the distance, their appearance is Abe’s first clue to be nice.

Realizing he has heavenly guests in his front yard, Abraham goes into high gear and asks if he may treat them to a chair in the shade, a foot bath and a fresh meal. They say “Okay,” and Abraham rushes off to arrange a nice lunch for his guests.

As I was reading this, I wondered why Abraham would go to all this trouble. Undoubtedly, Abraham and Sarah had food in the tent. They weren’t poor and lacking. With all the people Abraham had in his company, it is inconceivable that there wasn’t some meat and bread in the pantry left over from last night’s dinner.

But that isn’t the way of Abraham. Instead, he makes sure to prepare the freshest food for the Lord.  He didn’t give his guests day-old bread and yesterday’s meat, but warm bread and a tender calf. It was a lot of effort and time, but the Lord is gracious to Abraham and allows him the time necessary to make the arrangements.

I wonder: How often does God get my leftovers because I’m too stingy, lazy, preoccupied or even self-conscious to arrange to give Him my best? Sure, I may be thinking I don’t want to try the Lord’s patience by making Him wait until I’ve prepared, but this scene with Abraham tells me that the Lord is already prepared to wait for me to give my best. I’m the only one who is in a hurry.

I also see that giving my best means I may impose upon others in order to give the best, the way Abe got Sarah and the servant involved in the meal. It means that in order for me to give God the best I have to give, I sometimes need the help of other people. Abraham never hesitated to ask for help in giving to the Lord. That is something I need to learn.

Abraham’s reaction to the Lord’s presence in his home is a reminder that: 1) God knows who I am, 2) God’s knows where I live, and 3) God is prepared to wait for my best. I may be impatient to “get on with it,” but the Lord is not in a hurry to receive my leftovers. If the Lord is willing to wait for me, I should be willing to give Him my best.